Creating, growing, & purposeful intention!

cup rest

Perfect cup holder!

I recently read this New York Times piece about rebranding motherhood. There were quite a few things I liked about it. One main thread is the story of the author of the piece becoming a mother, that naturally spoke to me. I have worried over this since we decided to try and get pregnant ourselves. I worried about timing and having the time to write after Baby is here (any day now!). I already have a full-time job and limited time to write. However, I make time to do the things I feel sustain me already so I’m not sure why that should change, though it could get more difficult for a time.

Overall, the piece talked about how motherhood has recently been put in a more negative light using words like sacrifice and that becoming a mother is losing a part of yourself. She also talks about how it’s a choice:

“Motherhood, parenthood, is a choice — like getting married, writing a book or choosing one city to call home — and like all those choices, it means forgoing other choices. So it’s unclear why this one choice has become synonymous with sacrifice.”

I love that. I’ve written two novels and one novella and it didn’t just happen. I had to work hard and create a schedule (not go out to brunches on weekends or hang out with friends at certain times) in order to follow through with what I most wanted to do. I feel confident in my ability to continue to prioritize and feel excited to bring a new little person into the world. These are not mutually exclusive things in my mind.

Of course, I know there will be difficult times but aren’t there those times now anyway? I mean, I was recently hit by a car as a pedestrian and had to get over that eventually. It was emotionally traumatic, to say the least. We all have difficulty in relationships from time to time, whether it is with family or friends. Even though our social media presence never shows the bad stuff, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. The last quote I’ll share from the article is this one and one that I hope to be able to articulate once I am a mother.

“The joy and fun of motherhood are so deeply personal, so intimate and so selfish, there’s no way to explain it to the world, particularly our current social media heavy world.”

I understand the need to rebrand motherhood, but not for the purpose of creating more people or mothers. My feeling is that we need to be authentic about what the whole process is like and to talk about our difficulties, but not to focus on them. I’ve had both difficulties and wonderful experiences so far getting pregnant and then being pregnant (those I’ll save for a different blog post). Once I bring a child into the world I hope to be able to talk about both the good and the bad in a productive way.

Right now, I have to finish my revisions for my current novel in progress (I am finalizing everything for the last time, I swear!).

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Books and pregnancy

Well, I finally went social media official about my pregnancy and thought I would do a post on this book I am reading, Like a Mother A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy by Angela Garbes. She is actually doing a reading at Powell’s at the end of the month. If I am not too tired and pregnant by then I hope to go to it. Ha!

Anyway, I am not quite halfway through and I am really enjoying it. My favorite chapter was about the placenta. Maybe I am one of the few, but I had no idea the placenta was considered and organ (one that my body grows specifically for the baby) and that it has 50% genetic material from me and 50% from my husband! I love biological facts of all kinds and the whole chapter just made me want to read it out loud to my husband! He had me mark it for him so he could read it on his own. I just kept interrupting him while he was reading his book and I guess that annoyed him…

Anyway, I recommend it to people who are curious about pregnancy and also the culture surrounding it. I might hold off if you are just a few weeks away from giving birth though. At least skip the chapter where the author talks about how her birth went. The message is great in the end, but it might freak you out.

Lately, people have started telling me their horror stories of their birth experiences. I need to find a way to stop them. I don’t want to feel anxious about that part of pregnancy yet. That day will come and I trust my body, my support system, my doctor, and my husband to help me through, even if it ends up a horror story!

Any book recommendations that include biological science for the everyday reader? Lay them on me!