Letting go

Recently, a friend (Rebecca) posted an old “note” I’d written on FaceBook. It was called 16 things about me. The #11 thing was:

I think letting go is one of the most important things a person can do… and one of the most difficult things a person must do.

 

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Image from pixabay

 

There were other really insightful nuggets on the list (like the horrid snake tattoo that had the word Truth coming out of its mouth I wanted to get in high school), but that one stood out to me. I still believe this and it got me thinking about how certain lessons or trials come up over and over again and you must continue to choose how to react to situations. When I think about letting go of something today, most of the scenarios involve giving up control. It’s something that I don’t have anyway, but think I have. The other side of it is that I only have control of myself and my reactions to whatever it is I need to let go.

I like talking in the hypothetical about this idea. It’s easier to grasp and feels less intimate, though it probably leaves the reader a bit baffled. So, I’ll give a couple of examples…

Have you ever encountered a person who decides they are more important than you, and everyone around them? You know they don’t act in this specific way just around you, but it still gets under your skin. They are arrogant, unyielding, and rude. You have a choice. Let it get to you when they treat you this way and allow it to taint your day, or move on and let go. You’ll have to keep letting go any number of times with this same person until they no longer exist in your sphere or you have to face the conflict in a respectful manner (who wants to do that?). It won’t go away, but your reaction to it can help you cope.

Another example is when you have no choice but to let go. When it’s the hardest thing to do, but the only thing that will allow you to get through the day. It could be when someone dies or when a friend moves away. It’s something you can’t change so you have to find ways to figure out how to cope. You are in control of the way you move forward, but not in the act of moving forward. Does that make any sense?

Right now I’m struggling with a few things in relation to letting go. I feel conflicted most of the time and it’s not a mind space I like being in. I know I’ll figure it out.

I still my brain, breathe.

It will come when it’s time.

The only control I have is coping and striving little by little.

The only control I have is the way in which I allow for space for that which I struggle with.

 

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It takes more than long locks & a killer one-liner

(previously written) I am closing in on week two at home with a newborn. Whoa. The whole experience is rather indescribable, the word that best describes it is ineffable. My husband and I were talking about how surreal, wonderful and awe-inspiring this whole pregnancy and birth thing is and when he was trying to describe it to a friend he said that word popped into his head.

in·ef·fa·ble

inˈefəb(ə)l/

adjective

1 too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words.”the ineffable natural beauty of the Everglades”

2 synonyms:

3 indescribable, inexpressible, beyond words, beyond description, begging description; More

4

◦ not to be uttered.”the ineffable Hebrew name that gentiles write as Jehovah”

The word aptly describes the birth of my son and the days following it. Still, words only describe the feeling but they can’t fully explain the physical or emotional aspect of this adventure.


Weirdly enough, this post somehow only was published for a short time. Maybe it was my embedded link of the Guns and Roses song Patience? This music is something that I listen to while breastfeeding and I also pondered why more songs don’t include whistling nowadays! I’ll try it again so you can have the pleasure of watching Axl, quite the showman in his day.


In any case, I mentioned that I am not planning to make this blog about motherhood or child rearing now that I have a son. I have a son! Soooo, a quick update on my writing . . .

Shortly after giving birth I received a rejection from a Literary Agent that had my full manuscript. I wallowed a bit and felt like I’d never publish a novel as long as I live (the drama usually dies down within a day or so). The next day, I received an upgrade request from an agent who had a partial (about 50 pages) of my manuscript and she asked for the full! More confident again, I sent out the full and am trying to forget about it, which is kind of easy when I am constantly taking care of my son. I still have another partial out and some queries so I have a few more chances to catch someone’s eye. If nothing happens this round, I’m planning to research small presses to see if any of those would be interested.